Whist in the middle of mummy-duties and designing.. i managed to have a quick shower (well done me!) and while doing all the necessary things one does in the shower, I noticed a rash on my stomach! Not thinking too much about it , i ignored it and got back to washing my hair (again, this is a pat on the back effort for me! lol) .. Later that evening, the rash had spread to all over my stomach and was creepily beginning to crawl down my legs and up my torso! Long story short- the next morning I woke covered head to toe in what looked like bright red "whip" lines and blisters all over me!! After 2 doctors visits, a dose of anti-histamines and some seriously potent tropical potion .. i figured out what i got it from (thanks Google Images!) ... undercooked Shiitake mushrooms!! (ok , so who knew you had to cook them through?!) ON TOP of that I managed to get a nasty infection from the operation I had 5 weeks ago! ... I dont have time for this! Its always the way-- if one thing is going brilliantly in life, 10 things will go wrong all at once!.... (big breath)... ahhh thats better! :)
OK rant and vent over (and thank you for those still reading this..haha)
Today I am going to briefly (until bub wakes at least) chat to you about something that I have learnt since giving birth to my beautiful wee one. And before I begin- a warning to those easily offended, those who get the "icks" hearing about "lady" business, and for all those hopeful, excited, dizzily delirious (as i once was) parents-TO-BE.. stop reading now... (don't wanna burst any bubbles after all :) ..
Ok, so now Ive got your attention, here goes:
I am talking about the things "they" DONT tell you about being a first time mum!
-That even though you have purchased the most expensive "motion detecting" top of the line, state of the art, sensor James bond security type sound monitor--you WILL be that parent who checks if your baby is breathing at least 10 times a night! (even if the cot is right next to your bed!) *blush
- How those lovely (pre pregnancy) skinny leg jeans will never fit quite the same way again-- you will have some sort of bulge or bump that just doesn't smooth out no matter how tight they are-- even if you do somehow lose your baby weight (how do you do that exactly?)- How MASSIVE your boobs will become (for you anyway) -- but not in a "wow, thats a nice sexy set" kind of way.. but more in a "do i dare touch them or will they squirt me in the eye" type way.
-How you will be looked at purely as a milk bar by your baby.. no, thats not loving screams and cries of desperation to be cuddled.. you are their food and your boob is wanted and its wanted NOW!- How sex will change-- yes, it will still be great-- but now you will be subconsciously peeking out of the corner of your eye to make sure your baby isn't getting a free raunchy show-- you will also be alot ..err..quieter too! (ha ha) - you will also be reluctant to talk "dirty" in case baby learns a naughty word lol :D
- How your "lady part" will never quite be the same again, no matter if your surgeon was a master at stitches.. there will always be that little "bit" that's not quite the same.. and don't even get me started on bladder control lol (kegels ladies!)- Your new found respect and admiration for your mum .. and an instant understanding of what she meant when she used to say "you wont understand until you're a mother yourself!" (*rolls eyes)
-You will worry about EVERY little thing- is she too hot, is she too cold? does she really like having a dummy or is she just having it becuase i put it in her mouth, should i be giving her a dummy? have i burped her for long enough? is she getting enough milk? is she happier swaddled or free? is this nappy on to tight? is she content? it never ends does it!
- If you have a pet , it now becomes a "ill do it tomorrow" task.. once was it a gorgeous little creature you doted over, sang to (we have a bird), cleaned daily, chatted to, played with..... and now its lucky if it gets a hello in the morning (and dont go calling the RSPCA on me -- its now been handed over as one of hubbys duties lol)... poor budgie
- Shame. You have none. You quicky lost it through all those gyno appointments in pregnancy! Once every man and his dog has see your "va jay jay" — does it really matter? nursing pad hanging just a little out of your singlet? oh well atleast its not your nipple. vomit on your shoulder? That’s what wipes are for! Singing in a weirdo baby/cookie monster voice in the middle of Coles to get your bub to stop crying? oh well, if they watched seasme street theyd understand! yup, your dignity goes right out the window as soon as those precious pink lines appear on the pregnancy test-- from pee, to poo to vomit and nipples-- nothing can embarrass you anymore!
- The toilet becomes your new favourite place! Yes, its quiet, theres a door with a lock and theres only enough room in there for one! That white shiney seat brings you 3 mins of sweet solitute! Just enough time to re group :)
- You speak in the 3rd person! "does baby want her dummy", "mummy had a headache from you screaming in her ear!".. "When is daddy going to get home, mummy needs a rest!"
- Your living room turns from being neat and tidy into something that resembles half a bedroom (what are all these pillows doing on the floor?) and a chemist-- wipes, eye drops, baby panadol, nappy cream-- you name it, youve got it! Once the hardest task was finding the right angle to place that photoframe on the coffee table... now the hardest thing is trying to find the remote under the mounds of crap everywhere! :D
- Once youve "popped" out your precious, you automatically get "give me advice" tatoo'd on your forhead! yes, everyone (especially those who havent even had kids!!) wants to put in their two cents worth about how you should be raising your child! "oh no, you shouldnt be doing that" or..."do you really think thats best?...when I was a kid, my mum..."..... After almost turning into a basket case listening to everyones advice in the first weeks (midwives are the WORST) -Ive now learnt to smile politly, nod your head ... and let all their advice go in one ear... and out the other :) ... no one knows your baby better than YOU do and YOU know whats best for them! (this is one of the biggest things ive learnt so far)
- no matter how rough the previous night has been, no matter how many items of clothing (both yours and baby's) has been covered with vomit, no matter how emotional, exhausted and on the verge of tears you are -- your baby smiles and just like THAT everything disappears and everything is ok again-- their smile lights you up instantly and troubles forgiven and forgotten!
- How this tiny little thing that was placed in your hands after pushing and pushing and working the hardest you've ever worked in your life can become the thing that you would do ANYTHING for! The thing that you would sacrifice anything for, yearn to teach, nurture and protect with your life... this tiny,wrinkled, squealing thing has instantly become the love of your life and the most beautiful thing you ever did see!
So when you begin to doubt yourself, question your worth when your main daily duties are housework and keeping bubba happy...when you feel a little depleted and are exhausted at the end of the day remember this: There will never be another job more important than that of a mother. And to this precious little person, you are their world.
Until next time...
Bridget x
P.s- this blog did not take the intended quick 1/2 hour... it took all day :) stopping and starting between feeds, nappies, cuddles and playtime! its a bit like that huh x
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